Category Archives for "Idiocy"

January 19, 2012

Meryl and the limericks

Fans of the Stop AVN page on Facebook have been having some rhyming fun with Meryl’s infamous exploits; here are the results:

To read Living Woo magazine
All AVN minions are keen
While taking their money
Meryl finds it so funny
that they’ll pay for what never is seen

‎”I’m a martyr!” you’ll hear Meryl whining
Amid all that self-aggrandising
Pissing on science
Is valid defiance
When Dorey is doing the defining

An anti-vax nutter crusader
A logic and reason evader
A hat of tin foil
A cart of snake oil
Come and join! (Just as long as you’ve paid her.)

The antivax crank, Meryl Dorey
Claims there’s two sides to the story
But her so-called conviction
Is nothing but fiction
An addiction to false claims on glory

Her efforts to be anti-vax
Lead Dorey astray of the facts
Amid the correction
And deceit detection
She scrambles to cover her tracks

Dear Leader cries “ACTION ALERT!
My purse strings are starting to hurt!
So here is a tale
Of woo, woe and wail
Now DONATE, including your shirt!”

An antivax liar named Meryl
Flounders to show there’s a peril
In getting kids vaxed.
Responding with facts
Is like shooting fish in a barrel.

When TV or radio discusses
Measles or mumps or pertussis,
Meryl calls with the claim
That she’s got a brain
Though it struggles to do itself justice

When Meryl was shown to cause harm,
She rushed off to court in alarm
“The H-triple-C
Has no power over me!”
And soon she’ll be losing the farm.

It there’s a lie, Meryl will shout it.
If there’s a law, Meryl will flout it.
Indisputable fact?
Related to vax?
You can bet the farm Meryl will doubt it.

There once was an awful quotee
Whose words were read out on TV
The dirty old rat
Said “Did _I_ say that
I don’t believe I did, let me see”

“Da gubbermint’s ebil” she said
“Dey poyzun us out ov our head
I redd it online
The trooth is all mine
Now subscribe and give me your bread”

A sceptic, dear Meryl is not
When she considers all vaccines to be rot
Her bias and confounding
Are truely astounding
Hence why she is the laughing stock

When Meryl said ‘I have a brain’
My sides split with laughter and pain
A tertiary degree
May yet let her see
Her Dunning and Kruger is plain.

An antivax activist’s story
Spread eagerly by Meryl Dorey
Though baseless in science
Displays her reliance
On appeals to emotion and worry.

January 17, 2012

Meryl’s new theme song

Alie Thompson penned a new theme song for Meryl, in recognition of her level of expertise in science & medicine. It should be sung to the tune of “Wonderful World” by Sam Cooke. Enjoy!

Don’t know much about chemistry,
Don’t know much biology.
Don’t know much about a science book,
Don’t know much about journals or books.
But I do know that I love woo,
And I know that if you love woo, too,
What a disease ridden world this would be.

Don’t know much about immunology,
Don’t know much virology.
Don’t know much about mercury,
Don’t know what adjuvants are for.
But I know that one and one is three,
And if you can’t add up like me,
What a disease ridden world this would be.

I don’t claim to be an health adviser,
But I sure would like to be.
For maybe by having a brain, oh baby,
I can win you over to me.

Don’t know much about chemistry,
Don’t know much biology.
Don’t know much about a science book,
Don’t know much about journals or books.
But I do know that I love woo,
And I know that if you love woo, too,
What a disease ridden world this would be.

Chemistry
Biology
Science book
Journals or books.
But I do know that I love woo,
And I know that if you love woo, too,
What a disease ridden world this would be.

December 28, 2011

Meryl’s accurate introduction

Hilariously original blogger Shelley Stocken has proposed that whenever Meryl makes one of her increasingly infrequent public appearances, her host should introduce her to the audience with a great deal more honesty and accuracy than Meryl herself utters when she speaks. Something like this would do nicely:

Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, please welcome to the stage,
The best-known anti-vaccination fibber of our age.
A practitioner of obfuscation, fear and superstition,
Who’s been called out by the New South Wales Health Care Complaints Commission,
And the AMA, the ABC, OLGR and more.
She sells non-existent magazine subscriptions in her store.
Folks, the woman who’s about to speak to you in this pavilion
Doesn’t know what “research” means, nor “my mistake” nor “parts per billion”.
She doesn’t know ‘morbidity’ from ‘people being dead’;
And her only real credential is the brain inside her head;
A brain that pleads the Fifth when large donations disappear;
And that thinks “medical journal” means the same as “New Idea”
One that wanes when faced with facts, but faced with Natural News it waxes;
A brain that thinks that homeopathy is prophylaxis.
She’s an expert in the field of Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc;
You can bet the farm that everything she says today’s a crock.
It’s my pleasure to present, in all her dazed, downtrodden glory,
The queen of the conspiracy – I give you Meryl Dorey.
1 2